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"You can make more friends in two months by being interested in others

than you can in two years by trying to get others interested in you."

-Dale Carnegie

 

 

Strong relationships make up a strong life. Here are 5 strategies to relate well with others.

1. Be Others Oriented

This is the #1 rule for relating well to others. We are all self centered, that is part of being human. The person who is able to give up the spotlight and turn it towards the other person will be seen as socially adept and stand out. When you are with others, make it a point to make the first part of the conversation about them. Ask some questions to convey interest. When you see the person again, ask them about something they had previously mentioned.

For example:

• “How did your daughter’s piano recital go?”
• “Is your father feeling better?”
• “How was your trip to Colorado? What kinds of things did you do?”

2. Be Upbeat

An energetic, positive person is a relational magnet. Other people are drawn to them. If you are an employee, part of your responsibility is adding energy to the workplace. Complaining, being negative, and speaking badly of others is a losing proposition, especially for you.

3. Call People by Name

Make it a priority to remember and call people by name. Like the old TV show ‘Cheers’ theme song, you want to go where they always know your name. We have an unconscious positive emotional reaction when we hear our name. This makes the other person feel special as well as makes you look sharp minded. Don’t dismiss this point because you think you aren’t good at remembering names.

4. Master the Art of Expressing Appreciation, Affirmation and Encouragement.

Be the kind of person who sees something good and says something about it. If someone does something for you, make sure you let them know you are grateful by expressing your appreciation. Just as oil makes an engine work better, expressing appreciation is the oil that makes relationships and workplaces better. (See the Power of Positive Feedback)

When someone does something well, affirm them. The word affirm literally means ‘to make firm.’ If one of your direct reports makes a great presentation, tell them specifically what they did well. If an employee handles a difficult customer skillfully, let them know you were impressed with their people skills. This also works for children who make their bed or put their dishes away without being told.

While affirmation concerns the past, encouragement deals with the future. Affirmation says ‘you did it’ while encouragement says ‘you can do it.’ The word encouragement literally means ‘to give courage.’ Let others know you believe in them, give them the gift of confidence.

5. Help Others Succeed

What you give, comes back to you. Call it karma or “it all comes out in the wash.” The Bible says we will reap what we sow. When you earnestly desire to help other succeeds, good things are in store for you. Imagine you went into work every day seeking to help your customers, co-workers, boss and company succeed. At home do your best to help your spouse and children succeed.